Aurora Renews: Scorpions, permaculture, elephants, and Khmer generosity

I can hardly believe this past 30 days is complete. The bulk of the first program, (Operation Groundswell's animal conservation program here in Cambodia and Thailand) is done! I've really enjoyed this past month and have really felt myself stepping into the role as Program Leader quite readily and easily. It feels natural for me to sort out travel logistics, to teach and play silly games with willing adults, to facilitate serious discussions around issues of power and privilege, the complicated story of volunteering abroad, environmental sustainability, cultural literacy, etc. It's felt great to excersise my first aid muscles, and to care for many folks while they've been experiencing physical challenges on (what is for some) their first time traveling outside of Canada. It's been easy to keep a positive attitude, even during the stifling heat, during the bombardment of tuktuk drivers, during difficult sweaty volunteering assignments (carry 100 buckets of gravel up that jungly hill? Okay! Dig 25 two foot deep holes in the school yard soil that is as hard as bedrock, on a stale 40 degree day? We totally got this team!!) It has been affirming to feel some of my natural tendencies shine as the strengths that they are. To feel the work I am doing is natural, to feel like I'm offering my gifts to the world while having fun....oh how grateful I feel to have that going on right now!

Gratitude indeed. For this and so much more... For the mysterious déjà vu I just experienced, for the ability to work alongside a great leader partner. For the generosity of so many Khmer people we have met. For copious amounts of rice. Gratitude for trees, 1500 saplings of which we replanted. The Cambodian landscape is being absolutely raped by their own government's corruption as they partner with mega companies from abroad and literally steal land from already fragile communities who rely heavily on the intrinsic value of the forest-these trees planted are important. I'm grateful that organizations like Ockenden Cambodia are run purely by Cambodians who care about the forest and about the earth, about their country, and on a seemingly uphill battle they are still passionate enough to talk to poor rural Cambodians about rubbish control, water saving, organic agricultre, seed saving and compost making.

I am grateful for all the little moments over the past month. The hand gestures made to realize how to make homemade Khmer sweet cakes. Or the bicycle ride through the countryside to a rice paper making shop, and the horrible and distinct aroma of the fermenting fish sauce beside the river in Battambang. I'm grateful for the nourishing rice and curry meals ate outside, while sweat traces a line down the indent off my spine and I glare up at the massive tree on the permaculture farm, so grateful for the shade of that tree. Or the moment when you are playing a silly game on a rooftop in Kratie looking across the mighty Mekong River, with a bunch of other cheerful 'adults' feeling your most excited inner child clapping and cheering. Or the feeling of a shared soccer game with Khmer youth. With no need to communicate through language you giggle and hoot as goals are scored and shots missed. Or the gravity of having a woman share her story of the Khmer Rouge-having her father and brother completely disappear and working for years with little food on a rural farm for "the organization". I'm grateful for Buddism; to hear the early morning chants of the monks at the wat down the road, and to have two young monks join us and bless the baby turtles we released into the stillness of the Mekong. There are also the times within a group where dynamics are challenged, people are feeling tense-I love to see these processes unfold, and to facilitate expressions of discontent or anger, and then go about finding solutions, compromises, or ownership in next steps. Juicy...so juicy. Hard, uncomfortable, but really neat to see if members are willing, how common ground, agreement and consensus can be reached.

I think I could bring up moment after moment for paragraphs and paragraphs. But then I'd just be telling you the whole story. And what is life without a little mystery? What moments have you in awe, have you being grateful for this wierd and wonderful life these days?

I feel good today. I'm en route to visit with krista in Bali for a week, before I head back to Bangkok to have a two day disorientation session with the group (reflect on how they will take what they learned back home, celebrate the journey and our work accomplishments, and discuss the idea of reverse culture shock). It will be special to reconnect with the sister I haven't seen in a year, and who I speak to quite sporadically. But these in person meet ups are gems-when we can fall asleep super late chatting, discussing, advising. Confiding about what we are afraid of, and what we are looking to discover in this life. It's like I'm going home this week. Wherever there is love, there is home. And this return to home comes at a good time. Though I am feeling great, I can't help but dream of Canadian summer. About annual camping trips with the Ottawa women I have come to love so much, or about the cottage weekends, lake swims and ideal bike riding weather... Homesickness I suppose? At the end of this visit with Kris, I trust I will be jazzed up with even more energy to facilitate program number 2, with a brand new group of people.

Until next time I hope you have a happy sunny summer day. I hope you have some gratitude in your heart and that the light shines inside and outside you brightly on this the summer solstice.